Monday, April 12, 2010
Journey 4-12-10
Journey of a Fitness Model/competitior and Mommy to be....again!!LOL
Found out I was pregnant. I am 4 weeks away from my first Figure Competition. My mind is so full of emotions. I really do know how to feel right now. I am 4 weeks away from a competition I put all my heart and soul into. It is really hard to wrap my mind around all of this. It is funny cause I chose a path that God has for me but he is directing me in a side path right now. I want to continue to be a light for all around me. I want this pregnancy to be a wonderful journey of self revelation. I have learned so much thru my figure process. It has been such a character builder then to add this to the mix….whew!! God is amazing and thinks that we need to have another Baby. The thought scares me. Have to start all over again. But He would not give me more than I can handle. The more I release this to God the more excited I become. A baby!! Wow!! Cant believe it!! Elaynna and Ella are going to have a baby brother!! So exciting and scary at the same time.
3-20-10
This day was a very emotional day!! I went to gym to workout and everyone was coming up to me and asking about the competition. I could feel their energy. I was so overwhelmed. Other competitors would come up to me too and comment on how amazing I look. All I wanted to do was break down and cry everytime someone would come up to me. This is so hard. I am so scared. I want to finish what I started so bad. I want to be on that stage so bad. My heart hurts right now. I am having such a hard time with this. God, Please help me.
3-29-10
Wow! Is all I can say! I have had a wonderful week in Tampa Fl with my family!! It was such a great and needed time. I am still trying to process this new information. Wow, Pregnant. I still cant believe it. I don’t feel or look pregnant. Which is silly cause I just found out 7 days ago I was pregnant. Well, my reality is changing!!! What a ride. I am so glad God is in control. My emotions are so all over the place right now. I want to be one way so bad but just cant get to that way yet. I am hoping it will come soon. I want to be so happy but I just cant yet. I just don’t understand. I am praying and asking God to guide me and help me understand my feelings. I want to be where I am suppose to be. I just don’t know what that is. I am just going to give it all over to God for that is all I can do. Because trying to figure this out on my own is not only exhausting but frustrating. I keep coming back to if only. I want to get past this feeling so bad. Please Lord help me get past this feeling of what if!! I so want to embrace the blessing and gift you have given us. I pray blessings over Caleb. I pray eyes that see, brain that understands, voice that spreaks, hands and feet that work, orgins that work, body that works, bones and blood vessels that work. I pray for a 100% in mind and body. I pray for him to sleep thru the night. I pray no kaliky. I pray for sweet spirt. I pray for a kind hearted boy. I also pray for a son that melts my heart. I pray all of this over my baby in Jesus name. I pray that he is a blessing and a joy for us all. Thank you Jesus for letting me love on you and letting me get all this off my chest and my heart. I love you Lord. Well, back to work to day!! It was awesome!! I told everyone and everyone was so excited!! I had a great day at work and an awesome workout with Angie. My food is on point and I am waiting for an answer from Andi about maybe doing the bikini instead of figure/ Cross fingers we will see.:O)
4-2-10
Well, It has been awhile since I have written and a lot has happened since my last post. I am not doing the show and am just doing the photo shoot. Andi helped me see the bigger picture. I am at total peace with my decision. I have been working hard none the less for this photo shoot. My new saying is it is about consistency that makes the difference. It has been such a hard road but I am once again giving into the process of my new reality. I am loving this!! As I progress with this pregnancy I want to show that it is possible to stay fit and fabulous during pregnancy!! You don’t have to give in to the old cliché of I am eating for two. You can be healthy for you and your baby and still maintain a great shape during pregnancy. I want to show people that it is not the end of the road once you find out you are pregnant even if you find out during show prep…like me. My day started out like every other day. This is my journey. This is my lifestyle. This new path is a testimony of what I live during show prep. Disicpline and consistency is key!! Day in and Day out is what I always say!!! Well, That is all for now!!
4/05/10
Well, Another day closer to the Atlantic!! Still hitting it hard at the gym. Well, as hard as I can hit it while being safe for me and my baby. It is amazing how different this pregnancy is than the last two. Now mind you my last was 6 years ago and the first was 11 so it has been awhile. But one thing I do remember is I was not just morning sick with the first two but all day long sick...can you say NIGHTMARE!!!!LOL This time I have been so full of life and energy that I forget that I am pregnant. Everyone around me thinks it is attributed to my current state of conditioning. Whatever it is I am loving it!! Although I do get tired. I am full of energy than bam extremely tired. I think I will take being tired over all day sickness any day!!LOL As the days go on I am amazed at the amount of love and support I have gotten since finding out that I was pregnant. Everyone new how hard I was working towards that figure stage. It is awesome to know that people/genuine people truly have my back. I am blessed with the best people/champions surrounding me!! They motivate me to stay the course no matter what life throws at me. Thank you guys for always being their for me!!!!